10 Lessons Learned in Our 10 Month Engagement

10 Lessons Learned in Our 10 Month Engagement

From Ring to ‘I Do’ is exactly three hundred twenty two days, or ten and a half months — if you will. I have loved every moment of #engagedlife and the joy I have when thinking about the future with my soon-to-be husband . And since I’m moving up in the world from — fiancée to wife — in a mere two days, I thought I’d share 10 lessons I’ve learned in the course of our 10 month engagement. 

1 Communicate What You Need.

Ah, communication. Is it a shock that this comes as the first lesson learned? I’ve been able to find my voice, and figure out how to properly convey my needs in our relationship. Which can sometimes take a while, but once you get there — it’s a beautiful thing.

2 Flexibility Will Take Your Far.

There are so many little things that will come up during the wedding planning process. So many compromises, so many decisions, so many annoyances. Staying flexible and going with the flow — which isn’t my natural tendency — is crucial to keeping sanity. (Also, meditation).

3 Admitting You Are Wrong. 

This isn’t the easiest, but admitting when you’re wrong (even when you’re not), is a very powerful and humbling thing to do. I’m not just talking about me and Alex — I’ve had to do this with so many family members during the wedding planning as well, which was actually quite surprising. Yet, I felt a stronger to said person each time I’ve admitted I was in the wrong.

4 Remain Independant.

I’m a huge believer in remaining independent when coupled up. While we were just dating, I made a point to keep our own hobbies, friends, nights to do our own thing. Even more so in the engagement phase. It’s healthy and crucial for our relationship. I don’t ever want to give that up.

5 The Big, Little Things.

I leave little stickies with nice, loving notes around the house for Alex. He comes home with an armful of flowers and wine. It’s the little, loving things that mean so much to the other person. In the midst of the wedding planning chaos, it’s so wonderful to do a little kind gesture for your partner. Especially during this time.

6 Things Will Go Unexpected. 

I’m a very, very organized person. (Think color coded spreadsheets and labels). And even with that, staying on top of my wedding planning game, things have gone askew and not quite according to plan. That’s why it’s important to stay cool and calm, and (try to) remain flexible. See number two.

7 The Big Picture.

Ah yes, with all those unexpected hiccups, it’s hard not to lose your sh*t every once in a while. You wonder what on earth you’re doing with all your energy, and then realize it’s one day. Just one day. What matters the most here, is that you and your partner are beginning a life together. The rest (read: the wedding) doesn’t matter in the grand scheme.

8 Eloping Remained an Alluring Tease.

There have been many, many times we seriously considered canceling the wedding. Not our marriage or ending our engagement, but the actual wedding itself. As we get closer and closer to December 10, the appeal of eloping significantly increases by the day… (seriously, I was considering it last night).

9 Can’t Have It All.

At least not at the same time. And that’s perfectly OK. While many aspects of my life have been overjoyed and thriving, others have suffered slightly due to having 85% of my attention on the upcoming wedding at all times. Life is a balancing act, and I’m confident that after this is over, I’ll feel more grounded.

10 Having Doubts and Fears Will Occur.

Committing your life to another person is not something to take lightly. I’d be lying if I said that neither Alex or I questioned if we were making the right choice during our engagement a handful of times. We are complete and polar opposites! But like adults, we talked through our fears, doubts, and worries together. (I give Alex all the credit for that).

I can’t say this enough, I feel insanely lucky to have found Alex. I know with sincere confidence that we are both come hell or high water in this together. I couldn’t have asked for a better partner in life, because above all, he’s not just my husband-to-be — he’s my best friend.

{ t w o  d a y s  t o  g o }

  • I love all these, because they are all so true and such important things to think about/act upon/etc, not during just an engagement, but throughout the relationship. Great post!

    (And also… but didn’t you elope last weekend?!)

    • The week before the wedding was us making a ‘thing’ out of getting our marriage application and getting the license signed. We wanted to be legally married before leaving, just to ensure it was all taken care of — which actually felt like a huge weight lifted!